Sunday, April 21, 2013

(20) The Fledgeling flight of the Upstart Crow

(thoughts of graduation, reflecting on the college experience with heavenly (?) discontent)

Two weeks from the end
that everyone keeps saying is in sight,
and I'm not done yet.
Poured three years into this diploma,
but I've been thinking that it wasn't what we'd thought--
maybe college taught us that progress is relative,
or relatively meaningless,
that if we could just get a grip
on the fine art of flying
by the seat of of our washed-out jeans,
we would arrive,
that good enough would be good enough...
but what if it's not good enough?
What if our self-satisfaction has dragged us off track?
What if our lazy mid-week thoughts
are how we lost the opportunity
to stretch ourselves,
shake the dust out of our heads
and make them better places to live?
Maybe there is too much giving in
and not enough living in a moment that could grow us;
maybe we foretold our future when we said we'd make it,
but I don't want to "make it,"
cause my popsicle-stick constructions don't keep anyone safe
and my dilapidated battlements
do nothing to patch the cracks in my self-satisfaction.
I'm not after pats on the back
or awards on the wall
or excuses to stop moving,
and in a culture of accomplishments,
of measuring my height against imaginary averages,
I don't want to rise above the average.
I want the average to rise til I can't reach it.
I want higher standards,
kingdom answers to the question of who we're meant to be,
cause perfect rest in God will leave us restless
when we seek perfection anywhere else--
and he's
not done
with me.

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